Are you concerned that your child is becoming too independent, too responsible, and too savvy with their money? Do you secretly wish that they will depend on you financially for the rest of your life? Does your perfect vision of your child’s future include them living in your basement until you die, relying on you for everything, and barely leaving the house?
Or maybe you hope they’ll try it out on their own for while – attempt to get a job, maybe even rent an apartment, only to waste away all of their resources and come crawling back to you?
I know. It’s a lot to wish for, and with the resources available these days to help your child learn to be smart with their money, it makes your destitute plans even harder to accomplish.
But, don’t worry. I have a created a 5-step guide just for you! If you follow these simple strategies, you’ll be on your way to destroying your child’s financial future.
Step 1: Give Your Child Everything They Want
This is very critical to the plan! And the earlier you start, the better. To put it simply, if your child asks for something, do whatever you have to do to make sure that they get it. And don’t make them wait! I don’t care if you have to put it on a credit card, borrow money from your rich uncle, or maybe even steal a little here or there. The important thing is that your child is satisfied and comfortable at every possible moment. Your child needs to know that you are going to provide anything that they can possibly imagine.
Step 2: Don’t Make Your Child Work for Anything
I cannot stress the importance of this! You do not want your child to lift a finger to help out. Your job, as a parent, is to do everything for them. They shouldn’t be making their beds, putting away dishes, taking out the trash, feeding the dog, or anything at all to contribute in any way. Their purpose in life is to be comfortable and entertained, and your purpose is to make sure that happens. If they start feeling like they need to do any kind of work whatsoever, that might make them upset. They might even say some angry words to you. They may complain. We can’t have that. If we are going to properly destroy their financial future, we need to make them realize that they will always be surrounded by hard-working people who will take care of all the things they don’t feel like doing. That is a very important lesson and one that every child should learn at a young age.
Step 3: Make Sure Your Child Never Says Thank-you
This might sound like an insignificant step that you can overlook, but if you are to see the results of your efforts, it is absolutely necessary to ban any and all expressions of gratitude. Your child needs to feel like they are entitled to anything and everything. They should feel like if they don’t have everything they want at every possible moment, then someone (not them) is not doing their job. Remember, it is absolutely ok for them to scream, cry, kick, hit, bite, or scratch until they get what it is they want. And when they do receive whatever it is they are looking for, they should not, under any circumstance, say anything remotely related to the words, “thank-you.” Instilling this habit in them while they are young will pay off greatly in the long run, and extend their stay in your basement indefinitely.
Step 4: Never Criticize Anything Your Child Does
Your child is always right. No matter what. Whatever they do is perfect (unless they try saying “thank you"). If they want to stay up late, let them. If they would rather eat cookies for dinner, that’s just fine! If they don’t feel like showering for weeks at a time, it’s all good. They don’t need to do their homework. They can play any video game they want for as long as they want. And if they’d rather stay inside and watch tv all day when it’s sunny out, they should be allowed that privilege! In fact, if you’d like to take it even a step further, you can offer rewards for any of the above behavior to continue their success down the path of destruction.
Step 5: Never Allow Your Child to Help Anyone
Your child needs to realize that the world revolves around them, and that the only thing they should really be concerned about is their own happiness and fulfillment. If they waste time worrying about making other people happy, they will not have any time or energy left for themselves. Your child shouldn’t even be around other people who are offering service. In fact, if your child sees someone in need, help them understand that the best thing to do is to ignore the situation. They should not be concerned with anyone else’s problems, but rather spend their days focusing on how much better they are than other people. That’s really key. The less they care about other people, the more likely they’ll head for that financial failure you’ve been hoping for.
So, now you know the essential 5-Steps to destroying your child's financial future. Sounds easy enough, right? And the best part is that this is something you can start today. It doesn’t matter what age your child is. You can start instilling these practices and habits now. And, before you know it, they’ll be out of a job, miserable, and mooching off of you for the rest of your life.
Job well done!
P.S. You know to do the opposite of everything I just said, right?